


Don't Forget Me

by RedPandaOverlord



Series: Don't Forget Me [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Eventual Sex, F/M, Yet another work I started a long time ago and abandoned but I'm thinking about picking it up again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-19 23:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11908542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPandaOverlord/pseuds/RedPandaOverlord
Summary: This past of yours... What is your mind trying to block from you? Would these new events alter your perspective on the world you felt nothing for? How would this change you? How would this change... Levi?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in 2014 and lost motivation to continue it somewhere along the way. I've been meaning to continue it but my writing back then was a rightful mess.
> 
> I originally posted this on deviantArt (https://cosette8.deviantart.com/art/Don-t-Forget-Me-Levi-x-Reader-Chapter-1-421265123)  
> and also on Quotev (https://www.quotev.com/story/4180894/Dont-Forget-Me-Levi-x-Reader).

   "How long have you been here? Who brought you here?"

You paused at the crumbled stone steps, your hand remaining on the wooden hatch that led up out of the underground space-- out to where the titans slowly began to gather in the area.

   "What difference do you think you'll make if you went out there?! You'll just show them where we are!"

   "Shut up already. You'll lead them here with all that damn yelling."

   "Miss, what are you planning?"

You slowly raised your open hand over them, promptly pointing your index finger downward, motioning the three men to stay put. You brought your hand to your face and placed your finger over your lips, silencing the men's harsh breathing as you turned back toward the entrance and climbed out-- having nothing more than the over-worn clothing you've had for many years, damaged 3D gear that only wrapped around your waist, and two blades from one of the men, of which you hastily sharpened with the polishing stones from the corner of the den.

   Stepping out into the small wooded area that faced the open land, you saw that the five titans chasing the three men earlier had returned and were wandering around. One had previously crushed one of the horses as it tried to grab the tall blonde man. Its pulverized carcass was left alone once you shot two arrows at the titan's bulbous eyes; that was when you had motioned the men over to cover. 

As they dismounted, you distracted the other four titans by sending off the remaining two horses in different directions, each of which had a grass-stuffed cloth covered with random articles of clothing you had scavenged over the years. You had prepared these in advance for whenever you went outside; you always carried them around with you, as cumbersome as they were. 

That bought you just enough time to bring the men in, quickly adjust one of their damaged 3D gear, and hastily sharpen the blades. The loud man kept going on about how it wasn't effective to sharpen the blades, as that would make them thinner and more fragile-- you already knew that. But he didn't know that they needed to be used in a certain way in order to make them last as long as normal blades. 

The damaged 3D gear would only wrap around your waist. The supporting straps that normally went around the legs and torso had snapped from the poor maintenance of the loud man. There was just enough gas if you used it sparingly. You grabbed a few pieces of broken belts you had found over the years and tied the longest ones from the front of your waist to the back, going between your legs in order to provide a bit more support to the lower half of your body, which would be holding your center of weight when in the air. There would need to be some instant readjustment your body would need to make in order to prevent as much strain on your back and waist as possible when in motion. The shorter man of the group had pointed out that you would end up snapping in two if you tried using it. Yes, that almost happened a few times in the past.

There was no point in explaining. 

There was no point in speaking. 

There hadn't been a reason to up until now, with these beings you knew nothing about. 

How could you trust these people with so many expressed emotions? Why had you helped them in the first place?

It was much too difficult to read their intentions-- unlike the titans, whose expressions never changed, and their actions were all the same: Eat any human in sight. 

They were simple, predictable. 

These men... 

These humans... 

Were there more of them?

Why couldn't you remember the two from long ago?

Your head stung...

   You could see four more titans approach from the distance, all of them sprinting towards you with their lumbering bodies. The titan you had shot arrows at crawled towards you; its eyes finally regenerated and now only had you in sight. It opened its grotesque mouth, revealing gap-filled teeth and a massive tongue swirling in saliva. 

It pounced forward.

You leapt upwards, just enough so that your legs would be able to slightly slide you into the titans crooked set of teeth, allowing it to catch you without causing severe whiplash. Its jaws were quickly setting in, and it all came down to those split seconds before it tore you in half.

You gripped the blades and swiftly slid them between the teeth, spinning as you were halfway outside its mouth, and sliced a hole from its gums, keeping the titan's powerful jaws from chopping you in half. It groaned in pain and immediately rolled onto its side from its crawling position. It raised its hands to cover the area you hollowed out; you dashed out and jogged to the back of the head. The titan continued to groan, rocking itself ever so slightly. You raised both arms, immediately bringing them down and slicing out a thick wedge of the wounded titan's neck; its sounds came to a stop as it went limp and began to steam.

Staring at the disintegrating corpse, you noticed a larger shadow lumber over you. 

Moving swiftly, you angled your feet and held a slight crouch, keeping one sword above your head and one at your side, ready to sever anything that attempted to grab you.

   "O.... Oh.... Muh....... li....."

_ What...? _

       "Lit... tle.... ___________ ...."

You froze.

You turned your head slightly. The figures of two larger titans blocked out the sun, leaving only their dark forms to tower over you. You could only barely see their features-- familiar features that reminded you of the first titans you faced long ago. You recall slashing and slicing over and over... over and over... attacking and killing both viciously. They were dead, yet these ones resembled the first ones so much. Why would you remember these titans in particular? Was it because these were your first kill? Were their expressions especially disturbing? Your head began to throb... 

Did those ones speak as well?

Why were you here?

What happened?

Who were you?

Darkness closed in as the two titans gripped your upper torso and legs.

Your legs were crushed and your rib cage collapsed.

Hurling out a mouthful of blood, you felt an excruciating tear and--

  
  


* * *

 

You shot up in a cold sweat.  
  


   It was dark all around you. You felt slightly coarse sheets pile over your waist as you desperately reached out all around you. Your breathing was harsh, your voice nothing more than a strained wheeze in the silence. Your eyes were wide open, searching for any bit of light in the area. You couldn't see anything. You felt dizzy and lightheaded. The beaded sweat from your forehead slid down your face as your hands violently shook in front of you.

You suddenly felt a larger hand grab your left one, stopping its frenzy and held it tightly. You jolted to a stop, holding your breath as you noticed the sound of a steadier one next to you. The grip of the other hand eased slightly, no longer restraining your hand but holding it gently. As you noticed this, your mind recounted the events that took place earlier that day. 

   You had arrived back at Wall Maria after another expedition of the Survey Corps. Nearly half of the soldiers had been lost after just two days in titan territory. As you entered the city, you saw the many faces of disappointment, despair, and misplaced hope burn into your body as you stared straight ahead with your ordinary, expressionless face.

_    'They failed again? I want my tax money to go to something that isn't a waste of time.' _

_    'Where is my son?! Was his death useful for mankind?!' _

_    'Look! The heroes have returned!' _

You had returned to your office, placing your small satchel on the couch by the wall and took a seat behind your desk. The evening sun trailed through the fabric of the window curtains, making the room glow an amber orange. You had taken out a few pieces of blank paper from the desk drawer to write your report to turn in to Erwin. Shoving aside documents and booklets, you made sufficient room to write. Picking up your fountain pen, you barely touched it to the paper before writing vigorously. Every sight, every sound, every occurrence your squad experienced flowed onto the paper, your hand never resting as it described the many deaths they had faced and what became of them.

Images of their mangled bodies flashed through your mind. Their screams of agony and terror echoed throughout your head. Their hands had reached out to you as their torn bodies were swallowed whole. They had rushed in. They acted recklessly. They were too distracted. And it was your fault.

Your warnings came much too late for them. They could not react in time by the moment you noticed and when they took action. If you had forced yourself to speak sooner...

If you had forced yourself to advise them which actions to take in such instances...

If you had done so in the past, long ago... What happened, again...?

...

No good.

You just couldn't remember.

So much of your past was lost to you. You had to remember everything now. Otherwise you'd lose it all again... 

_ Don't forget. Don't forget. _

Your head throbbed.

_ Don't forget... Don't forget... _

Your hand stopped writing.

_ Don't... forget... Don't... _

The next thing you knew, darkness had taken you, and you dreamt of a past that had ended differently from reality. 

You hated sleeping. It made you vulnerable, not to mention you never indulged in it in the past. Every time you did, you had night terrors of various events in your life, whether they actually happened or not. The memories of your past were so little in number, and sleep had done nothing but corrupt them and jumble them up even more. You rarely rested, whether it was from fear of losing yourself, or losing your physical being. Such horrible conditioning life had trained you on...

   Your mind brought you back to the dark room. A gentle grip was still holding your hand. You slowly exhaled, relaxing your body and attempted to level your breathing. You noticed a thin line of moonlight seep past the window curtains, barely illuminating the room enough to let you see a figure slightly leaning over your left side.

   "Have you calmed down?" a low voice murmured.

You gave a small nod.

   "... I can't see you, you idiot. Answer me."

You stayed silent, trying to listen for any other sounds other than the breathing next to you.

   "I'm the only one here, so talk."

You were silent a moment longer, confirming it as you did not hear anything nearby.

   "..... I'm fine." your voice strained.

   "Don't fall asleep at your desk. You made a mess."

   "I had..." You took one final shaking breath. "... no intention of resting in the first place."

   "If you're going to pass out, find some other place next time," they continued. "You didn't sleep for nearly four days this time, and that includes the expedition. Stop doing irresponsible shit."

   "Leave it alone, Levi."

   "You'd rather I left you in dreamland?" His hand tightened around yours.

Your mind felt much too stressed for this right now. 

   "I've told you more than enough-- I don't sleep when it’s dark outside." You pulled on your hand, but the grip on it only tightened.

   "It's dark in here even during the daytime because you keep the curtains closed; what difference does it make?"

You sighed irritably. This was the time he chose to bring this shit up? He was just as aggravated as you were.

   "... It's the reassurance that when I open my eyes, I know that the world is still open to me."

There was a pause. Levi was silent.

   "If it's bright when I sleep, I expect to wake up in the same circumstances. Waking up in the dark-- is that from the darkness of my room or the darkness of some fucking titan? I shouldn't have to guess, regardless of where I am," You tugged at your hand again, this time making Levi release it slowly. The sensation of his touch dissipated on your skin. "This also isn't the easiest thing to readjust after doing this for so long. Old habits and all that. You should know."

Silence filled the air. 

You could hear Levi's steady breathing. You couldn't see his face clearly, but you could guess he was wearing a deeper scowl than usual.

   ' _ He shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. _ ' you thought. A sudden thought came to your mind.

   "Why are you in here?"

Another silence. 

   "Your report was late."

   "It's always late. Who moved me to the couch?"

He stood there a moment longer.

Giving a soft 'Tch,' Levi walked towards your office door. You listened to the soft clops of his boots on the hardwood floor, a sound you could distinguish from the many individuals that had ever stepped foot in the room. It was so late, yet he still wore his uniform. 

Freak. 

The slight squeak of the door handle slithered through the silence as Levi had stepped through the threshold. Just before he closed the door, you heard him murmur something. With a soft clack, his footsteps disappeared down the hallway, leaving nothing but empty silence in its wake.

_    'Like I said, stop doing stupid shit.' _

That doesn't answer the question, though.

This cold, unattached human being was one of the few you could understand. He never showed many emotions, making Levi almost predictable in his actions-- to you at least. This trait, unintentionally shared with the titans, made it easy for you to communicate with him, as irritating as it sometimes got. Most others found him unapproachable and hard to be around. 

If you had to describe him, he would be similar to... a rock.

A rock had its uses, but was by no means something to underestimate, especially if it were much larger in size. He certainly wasn't as stationary as a rock, or as stupid as one. You told him this once before. Levi had cracked his cup of tea and nearly threw it at you if Auruo hadn't been nearby for you to use as a meat shield.

Hmm. 

You needed to see if there could be anything else you could compare Levi to. It was... interesting to see his reactions. You wanted to see more. But why? How peculiar...

Your mind had wandered off again. What did you need to know? 

_ Oh _ .

Why had he moved you from your desk? There was no need to. Plus, how did he get in your office in the first place? You always locked the door.

... Nevermind. There's no point in thinking about it now.

   You pushed off the sheet placed on you by Levi and returned to your desk. You reached over to the oil lamp and found the matches you placed next to it. Striking one of the sticks, you hovered your open hand over it and lit the wick within its glass orb. The room became illuminated by its soft glow. As your eyes adjusted to the change in light, you noticed that your desk had been organized. All of the stray papers had been placed in a stack, copies of reports submitted to Erwin were in the drawers, the books and journals you researched were placed back on the bookshelf just to the right of the desk, and all of your notes on various strategies and upgrades were filed in the larger drawer of the desk. Not only that, the report you had been working on earlier was complete, with additional information on the remainder of the expedition.

Levi.

He needs to stop cleaning your things; it's annoying trying to find them again. He shouldn't find a reason to scold if what you were supposed to complete was finished for you by the man himself. At least the report was close enough to what you would have written, though you would have made an additional page or two. You'll have to write a copy of it before giving it to Erwin, just for the sake of your memory. Despite remembering everything you've ever written or read, you thought it would be for the best if you made copies of official reports in case... someone tried to alter them. 

For now... 

You stepped toward the window and pulled back the curtains. The moon was waning, and a slight breeze was softly shifting the tree branches. You opened the window and felt the cool night air on your face. Strands of your hair tickled your cheeks as you pulled up your desk chair and leaned your head against the window pane. Inhaling slowly, you began to hum a melody. 

You couldn't remember where you heard it, nor who sang it... But it brought you back to a missing page in your memory-- a page torn out all those years ago...


	2. Chapter 2

   "Your report is early this time."

You stared at the blonde man sitting at the mahogany desk before you, his large hands holding the document you presented that morning. He fingered briskly through the pages, giving each a quick glance before proceeding to the next. You stood there, waiting until he had nothing else to say to you. You recalled overhearing a small conversation as you were heading over to the office earlier; Keith had resigned his position and had taken one in the Trainee Division, becoming the new instructor. This man before you had been promoted as the new commander of the Survey Corps; he had previously been Lieutenant Commander for the last few years. Being one of the few who spoke to you, you had grown to trust him over time.

You heard footsteps stop just outside the closed doors; you could tell there were two people standing by them, either to guard or eavesdrop-- or both for that matter, but you highly doubted it. Those ears more than likely belonged to people who had no better use of their time; you could not recognize their footsteps-- all the more reason not to say anything out loud, in case they did have ulterior motives. 

As these thoughts passed by, you noticed the man reach the page you last wrote, which was slightly crinkled from when you had blacked out on it the previous night; the pages following it were what Levi had finished for you. The man had noticed this as well, as he spent more time on the page after that in comparison to those prior.

   "__________."

You slightly moved your head upwards in response.

   "... It would be better if you turned in your reports this early," he stated as he placed your report down. "But, it's fine to continue with your usual time as long as you recover properly."

_ Ah, he did figure it out. _

You gave a slow nod to him in acknowledgement. He knew you always turned in documents late-- not because of procrastination, but because of your excessive amount of writing.

   "Also..." he continued. "There has been a request for you to return to Wall Sina."

_ Not again. _

You continued to stare at the cerulean orbs.

   "They are hoping to implement your upgrades to the 3D Maneuvering gear as soon as possible so that they can relay the information to the Military Police and the Garrison," He interlocked his fingers and rested his chin upon them. "The majority of the Survey Corps already have it, as we were the ones who required the immediate use of it."

You heard the weight of the floorboards creak outside, most likely from the two individuals leaning closer to the door. The man in his desk had noticed this as well, as he gave a quick glance at the door before returning his attention to you. He lowered his eyes-- something you understood as his reaction of suspicion or inquiry. 

You inhaled slowly, slightly opening your mouth.

   "... They were using us as guinea pigs to test the extent of the upgrade I had made, even though I thoroughly put it through strenuous exercises personally," Your voice was just barely below a whisper. "They'll more than likely use our losses as an excuse to make me stay there longer to work more for them. Also, the Garrison and Military Police have no real demand for the upgrade in the first place; it's only an adjustment to the wires and gas output, which neither of them really need aside from us."

The man closed his eyes.

   "Erwin," you continued. "I'm part of the Survey Corps. I'm not a guard dog they can keep close at hand to protect those who have no need for the extra security. My life is offered to only a portion of humanity that is in direct danger of what's outside. I will not die for those who do not even bother to acknowledge that."

   "We all know that it's the Parliament who has the final word. You, deemed as 'Humanity's Intelligence,' are an asset that they are not willing to let go as easily as Levi-- 'Humanity's Strongest,' as they say." Erwin uncrossed his fingers and placed his hands on his desk, using it as support as he stood up from his chair. He crossed his hands behind his back, turning around to the window and peered out.

   "Losing 'Humanity's Strongest' would be a greater blow than losing 'Humanity's Intelligence'," You angled yourself to the door, noticing that the panels were creaking ever so slightly from the two individuals pressing themselves closer to it, trying to listen to your conversation. "The immediate safety of people depend on the strength of an army of soldiers, not an army of minds."

   "You forget that many group you in with Levi," Erwin turned around, the morning sun trailing down his chiseled features. "You're currently almost the only soldier who can keep up with him in terms of combat. It's from that fact that the higher officials want to--"

   "-- Keep me on the back burner in case their bishop gets taken by a rook." Your ears twitched as you heard an extra pair of footsteps echo down the hall.

   "If the bishop is taken, the King depends on the knight to take strategic steps to take down the pawns that escaped the bishop."

"... Not that they would in the first place."

The footsteps had stopped near the door.

The eavesdroppers on the other side were now pushing against each other, their presence now fully known, though that didn't seem to matter to them anymore. You could hear a muffled argument going on about not having enough room, not hearing anything from yours and Erwin's low voices, complaints about getting caught. You heard one of them shift their feet, most likely from giving up and deciding to return to their previous engagement. You heard a sudden squeak as they were startled against the door. Their partner in crime jumped against the wall and slid down to the floor. There was a brief silence before you and Erwin could hear rushed apologies and the scrambling of feet down the hallway.

You heard an irritated sigh before the door opened.

   "God damn brats."

   "You came just in time." Erwin returned to his desk and opened one of the drawers. He pulled out a wax-sealed envelope and closed the compartment, walking over to the man of short stature who had stopped before you, his brows in their usual furrowed state.

His blue-grey eyes stared at you for a moment before focusing on the taller man who had approached. You blinked at this action, assuming he was irritated about your presence in the commander's office. Your attention turned to Erwin as he handed Levi the parcel.

   "This needs to be given to Commander Pixis by the end of today; he will be in Trost until tomorrow morning."

Levi stared at the document, slightly grimacing as he grabbed it.

   "And the reason __________ can't do this is because?" He shot you a look. You stared down at the man who only reached the arch of your nose. 

He's not one to go against orders, though you felt that was debatable in some cases. You glanced at the wax seal, noticing that the emblem belonged to Erwin.

   "Because Commander Pixis has requested a meeting with you," Erwin continued. "And you as well, ___________."

_ Commander Pixis: an aged man who has not let that affect the wisdom of his mind nor his actions; an individual who never had many expressions aside from his general smile that a select few would consider suspicious, as it could hide dangerous secrets or ulterior motives.  _

_ But, he's someone I can trust. _

_ His actions are given by a single expression every time. Varied emotions do nothing but hide a person's true self, masking their intentions and deceiving those around them with their collection of "emotions". _

_ Disturbing. _

   "I can understand if Dot wants to meet with me, but if he's meeting with Levi as well, then that means it's another personal request he has for both of us," you continued in a quiet voice.

   "This is the last favor he has after you asked him previously to persuade that Nile Dok from keeping you inside the inner wall for no longer than two weeks, though you could have easily done it yourself to get a shorter amount of time," Levi said as he slid the envelope into an inside pocket of his brown jacket. "I still don't see why I'm involved."

   "You were the only person at the time who had enough knowledge about that case, and it seems like he'll need your assistance again. And another thing: Dot has known Nile Dok much longer than I have. He had that influence to use, which was much more effective than me trying to explain to a group of pigs that keeping me locked up will not make me more productive," You sidestepped Levi, walking towards the door and stopping at the panel. "Don't think I haven't tried. It honestly goes in one ear and out the other for them 98 percent of the time. There's no point in wasting my energy with that."

You turned around and glanced at both men before leaving the office.

   "Still fucking stubborn."

   "I would say it's gotten better over time. She refused to do anything when she was first brought here, but now she's more compliant."

   "After knowing the fact that she only listens to those she trusts. It's like raising an abused dog," Levi crossed his arms. "Though given her previous circumstances, it's more like trying to tame a rabid animal."

   "Hmm," Erwin sighed. "Who does that remind you of?"

   "Shut up."

   "How  _ did _ you manage to get your hands on her report? She never lets anyone near it until she gives it to me; not to mention her office is always locked."

Levi stood there a moment more before uncrossing his arms and leaving the office.

   "I'm going to ready up the horses." His monotonous voice dissipated down the hallway he walked down.

Erwin approached his office door, closing it silently as he contemplated Levi's actions.

   ' _ A fine sense of duty... _ ' he thought, shaking his head. ' _... but this seems a bit abnormal, even for him. _ '

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


You huffed slightly as you stuffed the last journal into your satchel, which was already brimming with other books and documents you wanted to bring with you. You weren't sure how long they would try to keep you in Wall Sina this time, but you had no plans to to stay for an extended period of time, regardless of what those pigs said.   
  


_    "... Pigs." More of a stated question. _

_    "Yes." _

_    "... Those asses sure look like them." _

_    "They sound like them. All I hear are squeals and snorts every time they open their mouths." You leaned forward on your horse, lightly wrapping your arms around its muscular neck, your face turned to the side as you leaned into the animal's warmth. You began stroking it gently as it gave a soft whinny. Your face was angled at the setting sun, making you close your eyes from its scarlet valor. You felt so tired, yet you could not rest knowing that it would soon be dark. _

_    "No sense of order either. Rolling around in their own filth, thinking they live happy lives... Disgusting." His voice sounded tired. _

_ A shadow passed by your face, making you turn to rest your chin in your horse's mane. Opening your eyes, you saw Levi motion his horse ahead of yours to between you and Erwin. You always had these little discussions with him, trying to make sure he could still speak. No one really spoke with him-- not that you would blame them since his natural demeanor always showed discontent. Today, it seemed even more so. _

_ Did you remember why? _

_ Your body felt exhausted. The bobbing of your horse's head brought you back to the motions you experienced earlier that day. Your skin under the straps felt a residual press, tightened from when you had sailed through the open sky, twisting and turning as you felled one titan after another. _

_ Ah.  _

_ That's why you felt tired. _

_ It has always been such a mundane action for you ever since...  _

_ Well. _

_ Since forever. _

_ For them, though... _

_ You angled your head away from the sun and looked behind at the distraught group dragging themselves on. Sunken eyes and tear-dried cheeks, bandaged faces and empty limbs, rocking carts and rotting flesh. Some had seen terror for the first time that day. Others had seen more twisted possibilities for their demise. _

_ The poor things, the poor things... _

_ Nothing more than scraps of what they had been. _

_ Scraps those pigs continued to feed off of, with no acknowledgement of what it had been or what it could have been. _

_ Yet... Those scraps continued to move forward. _

_ Forward towards what they knew would inevitably happen to them if they were careless. _

_ You just couldn't understand though. Why would they still stand? Why would they still progress? Why would they still fight? Erwin told you once before that those who could not sacrifice things important to them could not change anything. What could be classified as important? You felt you had once known this answer... _

_ You shook your head. _

_ Can't remember... _

_ You sat up straight, inhaling as you looked forward. Breathing out slowly, you nudged your horse gently and continued the long journey back to Wall Maria. _

 

   "What are you doing." A statement, rather than a question.

You blinked as you turned to see Levi leaning against the door frame of your office.

   ' _ I forgot to close it... _ '

You stared at him a moment longer before turning your attention back to the task you had left whilst lost in your thoughts.

   ' _ That was the first time I called them pigs, _ ' You buckled the flap of the bulging satchel. ' _ That was quite a while ago... _ '

Levi gave you an indifferent stare as you swung the strap over your head, readjusting it to rest comfortably on your shoulder. You walked around to the back of your desk, opening a couple of drawers to grab a few more items.

   "How much do you plan on bringing back with you?" His voice laced with annoyance.

   "I'm only bringing a few things," you replied in your lowered voice. You could hear footsteps further down the hallway; you didn't want to speak out, especially since the door was open as well.

   "Your idea of a ‘few things’ is exponentially inaccurate."

   "If only you knew."

You closed the desk drawers, and turned to grab your green cloak hanging off the back of your chair. You buttoned it and shifted under the material until it rested properly. The larger parts of your 3D Maneuvering Gear were at the side of your desk, to which you picked up and swiftly attached to the straps wrapped around your waist, making the task look effortless as you gave it one last tug to secure it. Grabbing the set of tinted goggles and gray bandana from the top of your desk, you swiftly tied the cloth just above your nose and adjusted the goggles over your eyes.

As you pulled your hood over your head and down to the top of the goggles, Levi glared at you.

   "... What is it now?" you muffled.

   "You honestly think that helps to keep people from staring at you?"

You thought for a moment.

   "I'd rather have them stare because of this..." You motioned your hand over your covered face. "... Than to stare at what's beneath, like they always did, and still do. It's uncomfortable."

Levi pushed himself off the door frame, taking a step into the hallway.

   "Use that big brain of yours..." Levi tapped his finger to his temple. "... To figure out why they stare in the first place-- why it's so uncomfortable."

_ I have. And it still doesn't make any sense. I also don't see why Hanji was so persistent in not lending me one of her goggles when I initially asked for them. I had to go find one on my own, and even then she was still upset. _

You stepped over the threshold of your office, turning around to pull the door closed. You took out the rusted key from your pocket and turned it in the keyhole, hearing a clack before leaning down to slide the object under the door, back into the room. As you were straightening yourself, you noticed extra markings around the keyhole. Upon closer inspection, you recognized the scratches as ones that would come from smaller, pointed metals-- specifically two pins meant to break into locks.

_    ‘These weren't here before I got back last night. These are new...’ _

You traced your fingers over the marks, feeling the indents that scarred the once smooth surface.

_    ‘It's a sloppy job. Obviously, they were in such a rush that they kept missing the lock.’ _

You should have been able to hear anyone making such a racket, especially in the dead of night. But then again, you were unconscious soon after dusk, so it's hard to tell. Your fingers paused, then lifted off the lock slowly in realization.

   "Move already. Let's get this over with." Levi was waiting for you at the end of the hall, his brows furrowed in annoyance.

You stood up, eyeing the lock for a moment more before proceeding down the hallway. Levi started down the staircase, with you following not far behind. You stared at his hair as charcoal-black strands of shifted with every step he took. 

   "I want a new lock when I get back."

Levi paused briefly before taking the last step off the stairs. Some soldiers near the doorway had spotted the two of you and gave a quick salute as both of you walked outside.

   "Get it yourself," he said as he squinted against the daylight, using his hand to shield his eyes.

Walking out of the Shiganshina Survey Corps HQ, you noticed yours and Levi's horses were waiting; they had already been saddled up and ready to go. Your horse gave a whinny as you approached. Standing next to it, the gray stallion nuzzled its head against your shoulder, making you wobble slightly from the motion. You placed a hand on its nose, leaning your head onto its own.

   ' _ You've been good. _ ' you mentally conveyed to the muscled animal. It gave another whinny as if in response. Walking to its side, you grabbed hold of the horn and cantle, placing your foot in the stirrup and steadying your other foot in the ground. Taking a quick breath, you placed your weight in your lifted foot and pushed off the dirt, pulling yourself up onto your horse with ease. Readjusting yourself in the seat, you took the black reins into your hands and turned towards Levi, who had just seated himself as well.

   "Let's go." And Levi tugged at the reins, turning his horse around and began to take the road that went straight through Shinganshina and into the open plains before Wall Rose. 

As the two of you traversed through the streets, you murmured to the impassive man,

   "Next time, knock-- or at least don't scratch up my door locks."

   "Shut up already," he growled. "There was no choice either way."

   "... ' _ No choice _ '?" You blinked behind your tinted goggles. "Do elaborate."

The crease in Levi's brows became deeper then, as if he remembered something disturbing. He decided to end the conversation there, the indication given by him nudging his horse to move faster, leaving you behind. Though you were curious as to why Levi wouldn't speak another word, you decided to let it go-- much to your disappointment.

_ What's gotten into him? _

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


   "Ah, ___________, Levi, how pleasant to see the two of you."

The corners of the elderly man's eyes crinkled as he smiled. His hands were crossed behind his back, his legs spread slightly apart, giving the aged male a stoic appearance. You and Levi hopped off your horses, their breaths heaving from their recent expedite. You stroked your horse's muzzle, proud that it managed to get you all the way to Trost within half a day's time at full speed. You approached Commander Pixis, stopping just a few feet in front of him. You gave him a slight nod as Levi gave a low hum in response. You noticed someone new standing a small distance behind the elderly man. He seemed to have a mixed look of shock and anger, which contorted his face unnecessarily. His hands were clenched, his jaw was set, and a small vein was popping out of his neck ever so slightly.

_... What's with him? He reminds me of that loud person from that one time. _

As the man in front of you was about to speak, the disgruntled individual behind him suddenly snapped.

   "H-how dare you show such disrespect to the leader of the southern forces of the Garrison!" Spit flew from his mouth as Pixis's eyes widened at the sudden outburst. "D... Do you even have the brains to give a salute?! What makes you think you can just make Commander Pixis wait for you for so long??? You were supposed to arrive hours ago and now it's already the afternoon! Not to mention--"

He rambled on as you glanced to the side at Levi, noticing that his brows were becoming more furrowed by the second.  _ Who was this pea-brained moron? _

   "-- And you've got some nerve thinking you could show me the same disrespect!!!"

He was breathing heavy now, his face a deep pink from the exertion, and his forehead misted with sweat. He glared at you and Levi, making you think about how it made him look like an angry gerbil. You shook the thought from your head.

_ No, really. Who is this moron? _

   "... And you are?" Levi inquired after a moment.

   "Of COURSE you don't know who I AM," the man said as he tugged at both sides of his brown jacket. "I am Private Joshua Hamilton, newly promoted to this position, and mentored by Commander Pixis himself for three years!"

You took a double take as the man continued to glare. A quick huff escaped your mouth and nose as you began to snicker. Levi slowly exhaled as he looked impassively at the ridiculous man, though he was a bit surprised by your reaction.

   "... Private, was it? Private Hamilton?" you spoke out. Pixis had given you a knowing look, understanding the meaning behind your actions at that moment.

   "And what are you,  **_boy_ ** ?" he sneered.

Your eyebrow twitched in amusement underneath your hood.  _ Oh... This is going to be fun. _

   "A Private? That's quite an achievement," you said in a calm voice, though inside you were bouncing with mirth. "That's the lowest position for a non-commissioned officer, isn't it? Not many people get that placement."

The man's face flushed an even deeper pink.  _ He just might explode right there. How fun. _

   "I worked harder than you ever have in your entire life!"

   "And you even had the opportunity to have Dot mentor you. What luck."

   "Address him properly, you disrespectful piece of trash!"

That was when Pixis placed a firm hand on Hamilton's shoulder, causing the fervent man to jolt to a stop before he could take a step forward; his fist was tight and positioned to aimed for your cheekbone. He turned his head to the side, meeting the gaze of a face that remained visually the same, but was annoyed on the inside-- this, you could tell.

   "C-Commander Pixis!" Hamilton instantly lowered his fist and ceased glaring. 

The elderly man stared at him, as if mentally conveying for him to calm down.

   "These are good friends of mine-- ones I've known for a very long time now-- so please treat  _ Lance Corporal  _ Levi and  _ Lieutenant _ ___________ as if you would treat me." Pixis nonchalantly listed your titles, but had placed a slight emphasis on them as well; you watched as Hamilton's expression slowly changed from that of unconditional outrage to complete trauma. His mouth opened and closed like a fish, his face no longer red from anger, but from embarrassment and shame.

_ No more messing with the moron... There goes my entertainment for the night, Dot. _

   "H... Humanity's Strongest and..." He took a hard gulp as he switched views from Levi to you. "Humanity's In... telligence."

A bead of sweat slithered down his face; Hamilton then immediately gave a clean cut salute to both you and Levi, shouting some garbled apology and something that sounded like making the grave mistake of calling you a boy. He then excused himself in a rush and stumbled away. You saw him turn the corner of a building, followed promptly by a loud groan that sounded very similar to vomiting.

   ' _ That was... new. I haven't met anyone that singular for a very long time. I'd rather not have to deal with that again. I don't know how long I would have held back if Dot hadn't done anything. _ '

   "Not that you've cared in the first place... " you murmured to Levi, returning to a quiet voice now that you've calmed down. "... But 'Lance Corporal' is only one rank above 'Private' for non-commissioned officers."

   "And you bring this up, why?" Levi angled himself towards you, his arms crossed and his brows still furrowed from earlier.

   "Just letting you know that when I refer to you in that manner, it's not in the same way as that Joshua Hamilton." You heard heavy breathing distance off as the sad-excuse-for-an-officer wobble back into the Trost HQ.

Levi's eyebrow quirked up. He had wanted to inquire further, but had figured that you wouldn't give him a full answer now-- that was how you had always been, as far as he could remember. But for the moment, there were other priorities.

   "The walls have ears in the building," Pixis began as he stepped forward. "So why don't we go for a walk, shall we?" He motioned his head toward the Wall.

   ' _ This must be something he can't have any curious ears listen in to, just like the other time. _ ' You nodded to the elderly man in response. Pixis gave a hum of approval and began to walk towards the gate you and Levi had entered Trost from. A quick release of pressure shot off the hooks of his 3D gear, lodging themselves a few meters up the wall. Holding the handles with a firm grip, Pixis was launched into the air with a twitch of his finger. Despite his age, he was still as nimble as someone a third of his lifetime. He continued up the wall, seeming to take his time since he was in no rush.

Levi then followed suit, shooting off on his Maneuvering Gear effortlessly. He scaled the wall in much shorter time than Pixis, reaching the top just after the Garrison Commander had replaced the handles into the blade compartment on his waist. Taking hold of your gear handles, you shot the hooks nearly halfway up the wall-- a much farther distance than what the other 3D Maneuvering Gear could currently reach. Pulling the trigger, you shot yourself upward, your steel-toed boots tearing along the wall as you ran with the momentum. Retracting one of the hooks, you shot it at a slight angle about a third from the top of the wall, changing your momentum to swing you along the structure. As you retracted the other hook, you shifted your weight to create a greater force that launched you into the air, allowing you to fly just a few feet above the top of the wall. Upon doing so, you retracted the hook, doing a backflip to readjust your body before landing at the edge of the wall in a crouch, just a short distance from where Pixis and Levi had arrived.

   ' _ Hmm... Still needs a few more adjustments. The retraction is still not as smooth as it could be, the pressure needs to be recalibrated so the launching is consistent each time, the gas... _ '

You replaced the handles back into the blade holsters, then began tapping each fingertip to your thumb on both hands, lost in thought.

   "I see you made another upgrade to your 3D Maneuvering Gear," Pixis said as he approached you. "I'm assuming it's newer than the one that is to be implemented soon?"

You continued your hand motions, not hearing what the man had asked you. Pixis simply blinked and chuckled at your actions.

Hearing the jingle of his old voice, you stopped moving your fingers and focused your attention to him. Levi was standing a few feet behind Pixis, sighing as crossed his arms again.

Straightening from your crouch, you hopped down onto the pathway on top of the wall. You slightly tilted your head to the left, then to the right-- listening to see if there was anyone in the immediate vicinity. You turned to see where the Garrison soldiers were positioned along the wall; a few of them were located a fair distance away.

Removing your hood, you shook your head to let your hair feel the kisses of the light breeze rolling over the wall. You shifted your goggles up to your hairline and slid the cloth covering your nose and mouth off, so that it rested just below your neck. The brightness of the sun made you squint for a moment; you shaded your eyes with one hand and turned toward Pixis.

   "Now that we're here..." You spoke at a normal volume. "... What do you need our help with?

   "Hohoho, never wasting any time, as usual," Pixis chuckled. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a silver flask. Taking a swig of the unknown liquid, he gave a satisfying sigh as the slight smell of alcohol tinged your nostrils.

   "It's something to do with underground networks again, right?" Levi inquired as his nose scrunched slightly. 

   "Yes," Pixis replaced the metal cap back onto the container and returned it to his breast pocket. "I greatly appreciate your help from last time, Lance Corporal Levi. If __________ had not gone to you at that time, it would have taken much longer to find that particular human trafficking network, which would have resulted in many more lives lost."

   "Luckily enough, they didn't switch locations or change any of their methods in capturing since I left," Levi looked off to the side. You noticed his expression turn forlorn for a moment, just before he turned his attention to you. "They panicked when three of their subordinates were murdered by two victims-- though I don’t know the details of that. I'd have thought they would have been smarter than that."

   "There are still other networks present, but the Military Police should be able to find those with little difficulty," Pixis turned toward the city below, observing the people going about their daily tasks. "It was that one in particular that required some outside help, especially since..."

   "... Since a handful of the Military Police were involved," you finished. The other two men went silent. "To think that the 'best of the best' of the Trainee Squads turned out to be the 'worst of the worst'.

"Those 'soldiers' are who the civilians depend on to keep them safe. This cruel irony doesn't seem to register in their heads; they acknowledge the danger of titans, but ignore the fact that humans themselves pose a threat just the same. They don't realize it... But titans are much more predictable than humans are, simply because their intentions remain the same. That being said, there's now a case like last time? Since you actually requested Levi to be here..."

   "Almost," Pixis turned back toward you and Levi, his eyes glowing from the late afternoon sunlight. "This is something that could heavily affect the Garrison, and especially the Survey Corps, should it escalate in the future."

   "And this is something we would be able to resolve? From the sound of it, it seems like this has to do with the Parliament, or at least a high ranked politician." Levi shifted his weight.

   "It is not certain as to who specifically is involved-- but yes, there is a person, or persons, under the King who has a strong enough influence to alter the structure of all three military divisions. I do not know how much power they already have over the government, but for the most part, they already have a portion of the Military Police under their thumb."

   "How have you come to this conclusion?" you asked you walked to the side of the pathway, sliding your legs over the edge as you sat facing the sun. "Did Rico eavesdrop on a group of soldiers like last time?"

   "More rather, she was a witness."

You blinked and flipped your head back, peering at Pixis upside down.

   "... What did she see?" Levi was the first to ask.

   "Two subordinates of the ringleader of that human trafficking network we brought down, three unknown senior Military Policemen, and Lord Balto-- She had seen them appear from the basement of an abandoned house while she was patrolling in Wall Sina. It was in the middle of the night as well; that being said, Rico could not clearly distinguish who the soldiers were aside from identifying the emblem on their jackets. They had escorted Lord Balto back to his estate, and the other two individuals had rushed back to a storm drain to return to the Underground District.

"As she was in pursuit, she recognized them as grunts of the trafficking network. However, she was only able to apprehend one of them while the other one escaped. A few days after, Rico was allowed to interrogate him after convincing Commander Nile Dok that she should be able to since she was the one who captured him. However, the individual refused to say anything. Seeing no way out, he bit off his tongue and died soon after."

You and Levi were silent, digesting the story little by little-- contemplating the entire situation.

   "To be that desperate enough to maintain confidentiality..." Levi murmured. "This could be bigger than we expected."

   "Even with that information, there's not much we can work off of, Dot," You brought your head forward, facing the sun once again. "Unless Rico can recall anything more distinct regarding those Military Policemen, our only real lead is Lord Balto-- and he'll more than likely use bribery to make sure the whole thing stays under wraps.

"That other thug is another possibility, but it could take much longer to try to locate them if they went into hiding in the Underground District. He could be dead too, for all we know. This is going to take much longer to get into than it did last time, Dot."

The late afternoon had dissipated into an early evening, the sky began to burn a raw sienna, the clouds nothing more than puffs of orange cream that floated carelessly in the air. You saw an odd flash in the distance. After a moment, you thought you could see smoke rise into the air. You weren't sure, since the sun was blinding you with its rays.

_ Hmm...? _

   "Yes, it will. Which is why it is best to get started now while it is just beginning," Pixis began walking back and forth slowly, his hands held behind his back. "For the most part, we know that only one noble is involved; if their plan had been progressing for a while, they wouldn't have been meeting in such an obvious place nor would they have had just one noble. However, there could be others involved-- including military officials. As I've said, it is not known how much power they currently have over the government, but it does not seem to be much for now."

Pixis stopped moving and turned to stare intently at Levi, then switched to your turned form. You remained silent.

   "... This is what happens when you ask for favors, ___________; you get involved with this type of shit." Levi reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and took out the letter Erwin handed to him earlier that day. He held it out to Pixis, who took it after a moment. He placed it in his other breast pocket, then gave Levi a hum in thanks. The shorter man turned toward the city, looking down as he grabbed his sword handles.

   "It would have gotten to us eventually," You stood up, brushing the back of your pants. "And who knows how bad it would be by then."

Levi gazed at you for a moment before exhaling slowly. Taking a step onto the ledge, he turned his head slightly.

   "I'm heading back now," He gripped the handles. "... I'll let Erwin know and see what I can find."

And with that, Levi leapt off the edge. A sharp whir of the cables could be heard echoing down below.

You looked at Pixis, who had taken out his flask again and took another swig of alcohol.

   "Ah, how refreshing-- especially after talking so much," he laughed. "I'm surprised he agreed to come along."

   "It was Erwin who told him that you wanted to meet with both of us, which implied that he wanted Levi to listen to you," You pulled the cloth around your neck back over your mouth and nose, tightening it from behind your head. "Otherwise, it would have been up to him whether he actually came or not." Grabbing the rims of the goggles, you shifted them back over your eyes, readjusting them so they fit comfortably. Just as you reached for your hood, you sensed a pair of hands draw it for you. 

   "Are you sure that it wasn't because you were here?" Pixis pulled the cloth over your head, tugging it gently above the top of your goggles. 

You tapped his hands away, earning a hearty laugh from the elderly man.

   "He didn't want to come in the first place, since he doesn't like being involved with the Garrison," You readjusted your hood yourself, feeling its placement more agreeable. "But that's especially the case when it comes to the Military Police."

   "And you share those same sentiments as well, don't you?"

You paused for a moment before stepping onto the ledge above Trost.

   "... For the most part."

Leaning forward, you felt the air around you begin to rush past your ears as you fell frontwards. You were approaching the ground fast. Leaning forward to do a front flip, your feet were now tearing through the air below you. With the last few meters closing in, you shot off your cables to the two nearest buildings with reasonable height. Hearing the impact of hooks pierce the structures, you immediately pulled the triggers to retract them. The wires promptly tightened, allowing you to shift your weight backwards slightly. Just as you did so, your momentum swung you forward, just inches from the ground. You fully drew the triggers now, making the cables behind you yank your body back to slow down your speed. With that motion, you did a front flip, retracting the hooks from the two structures and returning them to their original place as you landed softly on the ground. As you straightened, you walked past a small pair of eyes.

A child had seen your performance, staring at you in awe as their mother tried to drag them along.

   "Mom, mom! I wanna be a soldier when I grow up!"

   "Hush! Why would you want to do something like that??"

   "So I can serve the King and be a hero!"

   "Enough of this nonsense! We have to hurry and get back to Jinae before it gets too late."

You continued walking, hearing the protests of the freckle-faced boy dissipate off into the distance. 

_ Would he ever know what's beyond the wall? _

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


You plopped your satchel down on the bed, surveying the otherwise empty room you had been given for the night. You had decided to spend the night in the Trost HQ, not in any rush whatsoever in going to Wall Sina. Feeling slightly stuffy, you walked over to the window and tugged it open, feeling the cool breeze of the early night. The sun had set a few hours ago, leaving traces of its amber glow in the straggling clouds.

What would there be to do until the morning? You had no intentions of sleeping, nor did you want to eat anything. Exhaling slowly, you leaned against the window pane for another moment, recalling Pixis's request.

   ' _ There could be more to this than what we think. But there's not enough information for me to devise any theories. We can only assume that the corruption in Parliament is slowly spreading around Wall Sina. I'll have to look further into it when I get there... _ '

You breathed out an irritated sigh; the thought of going back to that city full of ignorant pigs made you annoyed. All of those buildings made you feel slightly claustrophobic and suffocated. You didn't like being kept far away from open areas, but... You didn't like being in those places for long either-- it felt as though you would be sucked up into nothing. The exposure made you feel…

Insecure... 

Uncertain... 

But as long as something else was in your general vicinity, you felt fine. Standing against the window, you felt uncomfortable in the room, especially since it was not one you were used to. You heard a soft whinny outside. Peering down at the stables near HQ, you decided you would go see your horse since there was nothing better to do. Just before you turned away from the window, you noticed a horseman bolting towards the building down the road. The image of the odd flash and questionable smoke you saw earlier flickered through your mind. Your stomach had a sinking feeling in it, making you feel uneasy. Turning around, you swiftly grabbed your satchel off the bed and rushed out the room.

Just as you had exited the building, the horseman was already conversing with senior soldiers of the Military Police and Garrison. As you approached them, you noticed that the man was gripping the reins so tightly that his palms were bleeding. Not only that, you saw that he was covered in blood, his face smeared with ash, sweat, and tears. His breathing was hoarse as he kept stumbling out words that made the men before him tremble in fear.

   "T-There's no way that could happen!" The Garrison soldier's eyes were bulging out of their sockets.

   "I'm telling you, that's what I saw! That's what everyone saw! We have to relay this to--"

   "Don't  _ fuck _ around!" another screamed.

   "You think I'd fuck around with something like this?!?!"

" **ENOUGH** ."

Everyone stopped abruptly, your voice echoing off the walls of the building behind you. The horseman immediately recognized your covered face, eyes widening with some panicked sense of relief. He stumbled off his horse, hobbling toward you before tightly grabbing your arms as he crumpled to the ground.

   "Lieutenant __________...!" the blithering man sobbed before you. You recognized him as one of the new, young recruits in the Survey Corps. His copper hair was drenched with sweat, the strands sticking to the back of his neck.

   "Stand up and report, Gwen Sutherland." Your voice was steady despite your rising uneasiness.

   "Y-Yes m'am..." He slowly released your arms and wobbled as he straightened himself up. Blood was smeared on your sleeves, but you paid no attention to it. Managing a weak salute, his bloodshot evergreen eyes bore past your tinted goggles and into your eyes.

   "Were you supposed to be with others?"

   "I..." His face contorted. "... I was... but they.... They have been... compromised..." His voice broke off as he clenched his eyes shut.

The other soldiers nearby were listening intently, still trying to process what Gwen had disclosed to them before you arrived.

   "Quickly, soldier. There's no time." The urgency in your voice was held back, but that didn't stop the feeling from coursing throughout your body.

   "Titans..." His voice was so soft, but the word made your eyes widen. "Titans have...  _ broken through Wall Maria... _ "

Other soldiers in the area had arrived just in time to hear those words. They held their breaths.

   "There... There was a gigantic titan.... That was over 50 meters tall... Taller than the wall-- it  _ destroyed _ the gate, and all of these titans began entering the city. I... I was helping a few civilians escape, but so many of them were...  _ Oh god...! _ They were  _ eaten _ ...!!  _ Swallowed whole, torn apart... _ I only managed to kill one of them, but so many of us were.....   _ mutilated _ ...!! I was supposed to accompany two other Garrison soldiers to the inner walls to relay, but... But...!!! There was another titan... covered in some sort of  _ armor _ ... No cannon could take it down... It broke through the northern wall of Shinganshina, meanwhile sending out debris that  _ crushed _ the two men...!!! I kept going as fast as I could! I... I..."

   "That's good enough," You stepped past the quivering man, heading toward the stables. "... Resupply, then continue your mission, soldier."

Gwen stared at the empty space of where you once were, his vision becoming blurry with tears.

   "Y-YES M'AM!" he sobbed.

   "As for the rest of you," You turned your head to the side. "Saddle up and scout for the survivors heading here. We need to be sure that there aren't anymore unnecessary deaths."

None of them made a move, refusal apparent in their fear-struck eyes. You removed your goggles to reveal hard eyes underneath.

   "That wasn't a suggestion. Now,  **_move_ ** ." Your voice was low and filled with malice. The other men backed away slightly before taking a moment to get their heads together. Someone had begun shouting to the others to prepare their gear; others had ran into the Trost HQ, informing those who had yet to receive the news.

   ' _ Like I always say, _ ' you thought as you swiftly adjusted the saddle on your horse. ' _ They don't even care for those beyond the inner walls. Filthy pigs. _ '

You leapt onto the stallion's back and gave it a firm kick, making it whinny and rear before bolting down the road. You dodged people left and right, maneuvering the animal with breakneck speed. You knew it must have already been tired from earlier, but now was not the time to worry. It was a headstrong mammal, more dependable than any other.

You furrowed your brows as you began to make your way toward Wall Maria...

Toward where despair was surging...

Toward where humanity received a grim reminder that they lived in fear of the Titans...

And were disgraced to live in these cages they called walls.


	3. Chapter 3

        “Keep moving! They could still be coming!”

You rushed past clustered groups of exhausted civilians, their faces filled with terror and stained with dried tears. Many were hobbling toward Wall Rose, dragging their friends and families along by the arms despite the pain and soreness thundering throughout their bodies.

        ‘ _The Garrison shouldn’t be too far behind._ ’ You were nearly at the gate to Shiganshina. ‘ _They should have plenty of wagons to carry these people back._ ’

The sky was getting darker by the minute; you had been riding at full speed for nearly an hour and a half now, your eyes focused on the dissipating smoke coming from the invaded city. Gwen Sutherland had mentioned two particular titans that had broken through the wall: The abnormally large one that had made the first attack and the armored one that broke through to the land surrounding Wall Rose. With this…

        ‘...  _Nearly one-third of human territory will be lost_.’ You were nearing Wall Maria; the gaping hole the armored titan tore through was coming into view. ‘ _If it broke through, where is it now? If the civilians had scattered after leaving Shiganshina, it would have likely chased after them..._ ’

Just as the thought passed, you noticed four titans crawl through the hole; three 5 meter titans and one 10 meter titan began jogging with their lumbering bodies toward the lagging groups of survivors. You gave your horse a hard nudge, urging it to go faster. The 5 meter titans had captured seven people, their small bodies wriggling and contorting under the firm grip of their larger assailants. With a small movement of the joints, blood sprayed out from the fists of the titans, droplets raining down on the other civilians who were fortunate enough to not have been caught. Screams of terror tore through the air, abruptly cutting off as giant sets of teeth crushed the fragile bodies. Now just a kilometer away, you could see blood trail off massive jaws and eerie smiles shimmer crimson.

Just as you were about to draw your blades, you noticed a tall figure haphazardly running toward you while carrying three shapes.

An adult-- one of the Garrison-- was carrying two children, and one was running next to him.

The 10 meter titan had its bulbous eyes set on them. It would take no more than a few more of its long strides to reach them, snuffing their life out like a candle.

You pulled back the reins hard, making your horse whinny loudly as it almost bucked you off. As it quickly trotted to a stop, you leapt off and ran toward the small group. The Garrison soldier stared at you with wide eyes, doing a double take before tightening their grip on a resistant young boy held over his shoulder. A blonde boy was under the soldier’s other arm and a black-haired girl was panting beside him. You swiftly picked up the girl and placed her on your horse.

        “Take them and go.” You reached for the blonde boy and began placing him behind the girl.

The soldier stared at you for a moment, turning his head rapidly between you and the titan that was quickly closing in.

        “H-Hannes…” the blonde boy whimpered.

The struggling boy still being held was screaming, his voice hoarse from overexertion. It was indistinct; but from what you could make out, he kept going on about erasing  _them_  from the world until not a single one remained.

        “ **Go**.” Your voice was more urgent.

Hannes tried to speak, but to no avail as his voice was ragged from running. As he continued staring, you realized he recognized you. The ground shook beneath your feet, the thundering footsteps growing louder. The titan was nearly two strides away.

        “Even with you, Lieutenant ___________, that’s…”

        “ **GO**.” You drew your blades and began running towards the grinning monster. “ **THAT’S AN ORDER, SOLDIER.** ”

Clenching his eyes shut, Hannes loaded on the last boy and climbed onto the back of your horse. You heard your horse whinny once more and felt its hooves batter the earth beneath it as it took off with the Garrison soldier and three children. Now merely yards away from the 10 meter titan, it leaned forward with its hands in front of it. Like a child eager to catch a small animal, the monster’s hands were flexing in preparation of snatching you up. The thundering earth was slightly throwing off your balance as you rushed on.

         _‘Just a bit more…’_

You flipped the blades so that the length went along your arms. Your fingers tensed around the triggers as you held your breath. The titan took one last step before its hands surrounded you. In that brief moment, time had slowed down. You saw your reflection in its empty eyes, heard its breath hiss through its blood-covered teeth, smelled its rotting breath…

Shooting your arms up, you sliced off its fingers using both of your momentums. You leapt up and landed both of your feet on the fingerless hands, raising your arms up again and flipping the blades forward. You flung your arms downward, pressing the triggers that released the blades from the handles and shot them at the titan’s eyes. Blood sprayed out on impact, splattering onto you with a sweltering hiss. Leaping once more, you kicked off its bulbous nose and pulled the handle triggers again, this time lodging two hooks into its skull. The titan tripped over itself after losing its sight. Just before its head made a connection to the ground, you replaced the handles with two new blades and extended the wires from your gear. Leaning forward, you swiftly retracted the right hook and made a tight spin, slicing out a thick wedge from the monster’s neck. You retracted the other hook and continued to spin, doing a roundabout before landing on the tattered earth. The titan skidded across the ground, its chin dug deeply into the dirt and its tongue hung out from between its teeth. The body began steaming soon after and the heat was making your goggles fog up.

You stuck the two blades back into the holster, but released them so that they could be used again later. Quickly wiping your lenses with your wrist, you trotted to the head and found the ends of your tossed blades sticking out from the melting substance that used to be eyes. Jabbing the blade handles in, you clicked both blades back into place. You slightly winced from how hot they were, despite not being in the titan for long. Tugging your hands out, you heard the thundering footsteps of the three 5 meter titans, their bellies bulging more than ever and their mouths drooling with crimson saliva. It appeared they had filled themselves up with the remaining stragglers, as no other screams or sounds of struggle could be heard. It was just you now.

Exhaling slowly, you turned towards them as the last of the setting sun vanished behind the rubble of the wall. You closed your eyes and began walking in their direction. A monstrous hand reached for you just before you shot your eyes open…

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
 

        “Everyone! Please make your way to the recovery stations! Your rations will be distributed, as well as any basic sleeping necessities for tonight!”

Levi walked past the shouting Garrison soldier, searching for anyone from the Survey Corps who had come from Shiganshina. He had returned to Trost some hours ago, after he had traveled back and forth leading some of the first survivors to Wall Rose. He had actually seen the Armored Titan walk off after breaking through the wall, but lost track of it after encountering numerous titans that crawled through the gaping hole. With that, Levi was not in a good mood at all. Not only was he frustrated about the whole situation, there wasn’t a sign of you anywhere.

        “Shit… Where would that idiot be during a time like this? Don’t tell me she already left for the inner wall…”

A horse whinny turned his attention towards the gate of Wall Rose. A few people made way for the heaving beast as a Garrison soldier climbed off and carried down three children from the saddle. The man had an indistinct conversation with them, after which the little ones slowly made their way to a recovery station. Levi’s eyes slightly widened as he recognized your horse. He made a beeline for the soldier, also noticing that he was patting the animal’s neck nervously.

        “Hey.” Levi stared at the sweating soldier.

Turning his head, the man immediately straightened his posture and gave a shaky salute.

        “L-Lance Corporal Levi! Sir!”

        “Calm down. There’s no need for that right now.”

        “Y-Yes sir…” The man relaxed a bit, but his shoulders were still tense.

        “Who gave you the horse? It looks exhausted as hell.” Levi already knew the answer, but wanted to confirm in the case that someone had stolen your horse, or if it had escaped from the stables and ran off.

        “That was… Lieutenant _____________, sir, ” he said as a bead of sweat trailed down his brow. “She arrived at Wall Maria just before some titans had gotten to myself and three children.”

        ‘ _How did I not see her while going back and forth? She must have taken a different route..._ ’ Levi thought to himself. He paused as he realized something.

         “There weren’t any horses in that area then?” Levi’s body began to tense a bit. “Seeing as to how you weren’t able to acquire one until she got there.”

        “Yes, that’s correct...” The soldier realized himself what this implied. “And to make it back here, it would take almost a day and a half by foot... If there weren’t any obstacles…”

Both men became silent. Levi turned towards the gate entrance of Wall Rose and stared at it for a moment.

        “Soldier.”

        “Y-Yes, sir?”

        “What is your name?”

        “Hannes, sir... Just, Hannes.”

Levi began walking toward the gate.

        “Hannes, bring that horse to the stables and make sure no one rides it or else it’ll die from exhaustion.”

        “Sir!”

    “And also…” Levi stopped briefly. “... Remember that your life, and those kids’ lives, were saved by Lieutenant ____________ … Understood?  _Don’t you_ ** _ever_** _forget that_.”

        “..... Yes, sir!” Hannes gave a strong salute before grabbing the reins of your horse and leading it off.

As for Levi, he gave an exasperated sigh before making his way toward his horse, which he had left near the area just before the recovery stations. His pulse was rushing, giving him an unsettling feeling in his stomach. But why? Many people lost their lives today-- why did yours make any difference? You were completely capable of taking care of yourself, so there was still the chance that you were still alive. And yet…

Levi paused just as he reached his horse.

        ‘ _In the past, many bodies haven’t made it back. She isn’t anyone special…_ ’ He furrowed his brows. ‘ _No one…  special…._ ’

Levi didn’t understand this sinking feeling, nor did he have the current capacity to think about it at the moment.

He placed his foot in the stirrup, ready to get onto his horse until he heard a distant commotion on top of the wall. Levi hadn’t seen any titans in the area when he had returned, but given that was a few hours ago, it wouldn’t be surprising if some had made their way to Wall Rose from that time. He kicked his horse off toward the wall, gaining a bit of speed before he climbed on top of the saddle and readied his gear. He shot off the hooks once he got close enough, propelling himself vertically as his horse ran off along the wall and trotted to a stop. As Levi got closer to the top, he could hear the shouting become more distinct.

        “There’s no way that’s a titan, you idiot! That’s a  _human_  down there!”

        “How the hell did they survive?? There’s no way one person could have made it this far by themselves!”

Levi landed a small distance behind them, making the Garrison soldiers stationed there jump.

        “W-Wha…?! Lance Corporal Levi! Sir!”

The five soldiers present gave a quick salute before Levi waved them off.

        “What’s going on?”

       “Sir! There’s someone running toward the wall!” One of the female soldiers pointed down at a trotting figure in the distance. “I’m sure they’re human; they’re way too small to be a titan!”

        “Even if they were human, there’s no way the gate will be opened for one person!” another shouted, clenching his fists. “And there’s no way any of us can risk going down there with our gear and carry them up! It’d be too much of a strain on the wires, we’d fall and be left down there defenseless!”

        “Exactly!” one of the other soldiers agreed. “We can’t risk it!”

        “Then you expect us to just watch someone die?!” another soldier yelled as she grabbed the first male’s collar.

        “Stop it! This isn’t helping!” the fifth soldier cried as he tried to pry the second female soldier off.

Levi ignored them and stared down at the figure below, watching them as they got closer. The sun was already down, but the remnants of light was just enough to barely see an outline of the person. As they neared the gate, a slow, thundering sound could be heard not far off. The figure stopped running and turned around. A 15 meter titan was slowly making its way toward the person, its footsteps sluggish and inconsistent.

        “See?? What did I tell you! If we go down now, we’ll be titan food!” the soldier exclaimed.

The other four soldiers simply stared, not knowing what they should do. Levi clicked his tongue before he leapt down, leaving the others in a state of shock from his action. Just before he shot off one of the hooks to the wall to slow down his speed, he noticed the figure run toward the titan. As they whipped their arms out, Levi noticed a slight glimmer extending from their arms, indicating they had drawn out a weapon. He then realized that person was a soldier-- not to mention, a soldier wearing goggles and a bandana over their mouth. Levi’s eyes widened in realization. Not just any soldier would face a stumbling behemoth head-on on their own.

It was you.

After he slowed down his speed, Levi kicked off the wall as hard as he could, launching himself above the titan. He noticed you wait until the monster reached down for you before you jumped onto its arm and ran along its length, slicing out muscle wedges to incapacitate it momentarily as you ascended.

You stumbled over yourself, pausing briefly before attempting to continue. You blinked to try focusing your vision, but it only became worse as your exhaustion caught up with you. That brief moment gave the titan just enough time to swipe you up with its other hand and squeeze down on your much smaller body. It didn’t seem to be too rushed to crush you, but the pressure was building fast and you struggled to breathe. Levi shot a hook and lodged it into the titan’s skull, pulling himself downward as fast as he could. Through hazy eyes, you saw a blood-stained set of teeth open, followed by a sweltering breath of rotten flesh. Your ears were now ringing and you couldn’t hear clearly anymore. You tried to wiggle out of its firm grasp, but had no luck. You barely had any energy left and you were losing consciousness fast.

Just as your head passed the bottom row of teeth, you felt the lumbering body jolt. Struggling to look around, you noticed from the corner of your eye a figure swinging around the titan’s head, followed by a steaming wedge skidding across the ground. The grip that had previously immobilized you loosened slightly, giving you the opportunity to yank your arms out and kick away the thick fingers. The titan’s body began falling forward, its hand that once held you now falling off to the side. You steadied yourself as much as you could, facing Wall Rose as you struggled to grip onto your blade handles.

Pulling the trigger, you shot two hooks toward the wall and lodged them some meters up the structure. As you clicked the retraction trigger, the force caused excessive amounts of pain to shoot throughout your body as you launched yourself. You could faintly hear hooks being shot near you, but tried to focus on staying conscious as you ascended the wall. The ringing in your ears was more apparent now and you could no longer hear anything. The hissing from your gear became fainter and fainter, and you didn’t notice when your gas tanks ran empty. You couldn’t tense your body enough for the body straps to support you properly, making the pain in your body even more excruciating. Your eyes were barely open, and your breathing was shallow. Your grip on the handles slipped and the hooks in the wall dislodged. At that moment, your body was suspended in the air briefly as your upward momentum decreased. Gravity stepped in and began pulling you downward. The sinking feeling didn’t last for long as a strong arm caught you around the waist. You coughed from the impact, which also earned a grunt from Levi.

He quickly slid you over his shoulder and continued climbing the wall. The wires were straining from both of your weights and were on the verge of snapping. As you dangled over tensing muscles, your vision began to darken and blood trickled out from your mouth, soaking into your bandana.

        ‘ _Ah..._ ’ You thought. ‘ _It’s so cold…_ ’

Levi struggled the last few yards up the wall as he tried to keep you from slipping over his shoulder. One of the wires had finally snapped, causing Levi to awkwardly grab you with his arm after dropping a few feet. Sweat dripped down his tensed face, his teeth clenched as he rushed the last distance. Reaching the top at last, Levi stumbled a bit before gently laying you down. On your side, your eyes were half-lidded and your breathing was almost non-existent. Panting, Levi dropped both handles and kneeled next to you, turning you onto your back and straightening your neck. As he did this, the five Garrison soldiers rushed over in a frenzy, commending Levi for his actions as well as expressing shock over seeing your limp body.

He yanked off your goggles and bandana, revealing your pale and lifeless face. Your sense of reality was nearly gone, and all you could feel was the sensation of someone pressing hard onto your chest and air being forced into your lungs…

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
 

         _“I… I don’t believe it…! She’s killing them all on her own! No one in the Survey Corps can maneuver on the ground with 3D gear like that!”_

_More and more titans were closing in, attracted to the uproar in the area. Watching the young girl speed around the lumbering legs of the titans, Levi noticed how she waited until they were just close enough before ridding them of their sight and slicing out their necks._

         _“If we never saw her and just hid somewhere, we’d probably already be titan food with all that racket you’re making, Auruo.” Levi crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Auruo clenched his teeth and gulped nervously. “Erwin, do you think she’s an escaped criminal?”_

         _“Possibly, but we would have been notified if that were the case,” Erwin replied. “Either that, or she evaded the Military Police in a way similar to what she’s doing now with the titans-- metaphorically speaking.”_

_The girl stabbed the sword into one of the titan’s foreheads, grasping onto the handle tightly as the behemoth straightened itself. As it attempted to grab her dangling body, another titan came sprinting forward and crashed into it, allowing the girl to swing around both beings and slice out their necks as they were smashed against each other._

         _“But this is pretty far from Wall Maria! And judging from this place…” Auruo looked around the space nervously. “She’s been here for a while.”_

_A small bed was in the corner; next to that there was a small pile of worn-out books. Across from that, there was the pile of stones the girl had used to sharpen the blades. A pile of clothes were next to those, with some of them Auruo recognized as items once belonging to the Survey Corps._

         _“Do you think she’s been following us? I mean, these are things that some of the soldiers carry whenever we go out on expeditions…” Auruo grimaced at the thought._

         _“That’s a good possibility, but we can’t know for sure.” Erwin kept his attention at your nimble movements, felling one titan after another with ease._

         _“I’d say we would have been fine, but all of our gas tanks-- save for **yours**_ _,” Levi nodded toward Auruo, making the other fringe. “-- was empty, and the chance of us switching yours with mine without getting eaten in the process was close to none.”_

         _“And if she ends up getting killed...?” Auruo shivered._

         _“Then we get killed too. It’s not that difficult to figure out.”_

_The girl landed softly on the ground, her eighth kill crashing behind her. The four titans that had previously left after being distracted by the two horses the girl sent off returned, charging faster than ever toward her. These were the last ones, and she was quickly being closed in on. Very little time was left to escape the ring of titans surrounding her._

_What now? What now? Any attempt to maneuver upwards in that current position meant instant death. There was no room to exit from the sides; and even if there was, there was only a titan’s hand waiting for her. That leaves the legs. These ones were tall enough to barely leave enough room to slide between the stalky limbs. But there would only be one chance, and even that would have little success. The lone girl would need to time this just right. There was no room for error._

_Holding her breath, the girl shot off one hook between one of the titan’s legs, lodging it into the ground some distance behind it. A stained foot crushed the ground next to her, making her body falter from the crumbling earth beneath her. She took advantage of her momentary suspension and retracted the wire to make herself shoot off from her position, which was then barely made vacant by a contorted face. The girl attempted to relax her body as much as she could before making an impact to the ground. Though the action was intended to reduce as much injury as possible, the force still created painful bruises along the girl’s shoulder and hip._

_She skidded on her side along the dirt, readying the second hook to be shot into a heated shoulder. The behemoths that had surrounded her were now tripping over themselves in a giant pile, wriggling about as they searched feverishly for their prey. The one on top rolled off and spotted the girl as she came to a stop on the ground. The dust made her squint, though it did not keep her from focusing on the groaning beast slowly crawling toward her. Its bulbous eyes swirled in their sockets and saliva streamed from a creaking jaw. Another one of the titans in the pile rolled out and smacked against the legs of the one progressively making its way toward her. It fell forward, its chin digging into the earth upon impact._

_The girl took that opportunity to shoot a hook square into its forehead and immediately launched herself at the titan while it was still temporarily incapacitated. The heels of her worn-out shoes slammed against the hot skin, along with her blades cutting into soulless eyes. The creature bellowed out in pain as steaming liquid oozed out from the crevice. The girl promptly shot a hook into its skull and leaned forward, using her falling momentum to spin and slice a wedge out of the titan’s neck. A final moan echoed from its throat as its head fell forward. She ran down along the length of the body, leaping up and shooting another hook into the skull of the other titan that had rolled into the now evaporating one. Retracting the wire, the girl propelled herself and sliced out another neck._

_The remaining two titans stumbled as they finally got to their feet. Tightening her grip on the handles, the girl jumped off the steaming bodies and ran around the behemoths. Suddenly, one of them leapt head-first toward her with an open mouth, catching the girl off guard. She launched one of the hooks into the ground some yards away and yanked herself down just before a set of teeth crushed her. Her body had pivoted unnaturally from the action and had caused a severe strain on her hips and torso, since the gear she was using did not properly support her body in the first place. The girl landed hard on the ground and was left in a daze. The second titan now had her in sight and was sprinting toward her._

         _“Shit.”_

         _“Levi! Wait!” Erwin chased after the man who shoved the hatch to the den open and ran out._

         _“D-Don’t leave me here!” Auruo stumbled after them._

  
  
 

_You watched from the side as you saw the titan grab the girl and lift it up to its face. Three figures appeared from the small forest where the den was located. The other titan was on its hands and knees; clumps of earth spilled from its steaming mouth as it found interest in the appearance of the three._

         _‘That’s right,’ you thought. ‘That’s what happened next. I wasn’t paying attention and got caught.’_

_You heard indistinct yelling from Auruo, who was panicking over being in the open with no defense whatsoever. Levi had stopped in his tracks as the titan stared at him. He held his blades so tightly his knuckles had turned white. There was little he could do with gear that had no fuel; you did never figure out why he ran out to try to save some girl who lived in a hole in the ground._

         _‘If Levi was the same back then as he is now, why would he make such a careless move? He must have had some plan…’ You watched your memory play in slow motion now. It was an odd feeling, watching your past play before you. ‘But after they ran out…’_

_Observing your past self pull on the cables linked to the blade handles, you remembered the sensation of gripping the objects and promptly slicing through the titan’s wrist tendons. It had dropped you to the ground, knocking the wind out of you and left you gasping for air. You watched yourself struggle to stand and hobble toward the other titan, but immediately noticed something different play out in your memory._

_The titan you just attacked healed almost instantaneously and began to make its way toward you rather than Levi, Erwin, and Auruo. The other titan on its hands and knees stood up and straightened itself like…_

_Like a human…_

_Your heart began to beat harder and panic was rising throughout your body._

         _“No… No, that’s not how it went,” you whispered. “That never happened. What is…”_

_You blinked._

_You now stood where your past self was. Levi’s motion was frozen, along with Erwin’s and Auruo’s. Swiveling to the side, you shot a look at where you were last positioned. You now saw your past self there, waving sadly to you but with a look of indifference. Your heart skipped a beat. That pitiful and empathetic appearance made an unknown emotion crash into you. You didn’t know what to feel, but it was something you felt was erased-- no, stripped from you. This lost sensation invaded your very being, making your body seem nothing more than an empty shell cracking under the pressure from containing your existence. Blood suddenly gushed from your past self’s forehead and the eyeballs rolled back. You watched in horror as your former self collapsed and crumbled into ash. You switched back to the three men behind you and saw them lying in their own pool of blood. Their lips were blue, their skin translucent. Three pairs of clouded eyes stared at you, with no sign of life reflected in them. It was as though their last moments were spent judging you-- no, reprimanding you. But for what? For what? The sky darkened and a cold wind began to pick up. You felt a presence aside from the titans hang over you, but saw nothing.. The beasts’ forms became nothing more than looming shadows, leaving only their outlines that slowly morphed into familiar figures._

         _“Lit… tle….. ___________ …”_

_You froze. The voice from your last dream trembled in the air. The broken sound now seemed more familiar, but was still foreign to you. The wind began to howl and was turning into a vortex, with you in the center. The corpses of your comrades disintegrated, the powdered remains carried off by the tempest that was growing louder and louder by the second. Your ears began to ring and your head became light._

         _“Little __________… Little ___________…..”_

_The voice overlapped with itself and thundered through the air around you. You keeled over onto your knees and covered your ears, rocking yourself slightly while clenching your eyes shut._

         _“No, no, no….” you muttered. “No…! No more…. No more…..! I… I’m…. sorry… I’m sorry…”_

_Your efforts to muffle out the sounds proved to be in vain as they continued to shoot throughout your head. A terrible throb pulsed through your brain; your eyes sprung tears of blood that trickled down your cheeks._

         _“Little __________… Little ___________…..”_

         _“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Pictures of your dead comrades flashed behind your eyelids. “I’ll do better! I’ll do better! I’m sorry! **I’M SORRY!**_ _”_

         _“Little __________… Little ___________…..”_

_A moment flashed of Levi holding something in his hands as he walked down a dark abyss._

         _“Levi……? L… Levi…!” You felt an unknown force press against your shoulders. “Don’t go! I…”_

         _“Little __________… Little ___________…..”_

         _“Levi!” The force shifted from one of your shoulders and moved to your cheek, cupping it as you thrashed your head back and forth. “Don’t go! Don’t… leave me…. alone….! Don’t--”_

         _“Don’t forget us, __________ .”_

_A single sentence resounded in the air, bringing all the other noise to a stop. It was now eerily silent as the spoken line had come from above-- from the two titans leaning over you. You shot your eyes open and peered up at the looming shadows. Shallow breaths slithered from your mouth as the figures kneeled down next to you._

         _“Don’t forget us, __________ .” The line once again echoed through the air. A sharp pain shot through your head as you began to remember something from long ago. A shadowed figure ruffled your hair before walking away. You reached out with your small hands but couldn’t grasp anything as it left you by yourself. Brought back to your current state of mind, you blinked before reaching up toward the titans above you with quivering hands. Their appearances were still cloaked in darkness, but something about them seemed so familiar…_

_One of them began reaching down slowly, seeming to pause just above your head. You stretched your arms as much as you could, just a few inches from touching the giant palm hovering over you. You suddenly felt the sensation of your hand being grasped tightly, but you couldn’t see anything holding the extremity. You drew in a shaky breath, the air making your throat feel more dry and parched._

         _“M…. Mothe--”_

_The hand slammed down on you, making your body splatter into a mess of--_

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
 

Your body convulsed, exploding unbelievable pain throughout your system. Your eyes shot open, only to immediately clench shut from the blinding light shining over you. Gritting your teeth, a strained scream was forced from your dry throat. Your entire body felt like it was on fire. Sweat dampened your skin and made you feel overheated and chilled at the same time. You vaguely noticed a hand cupping your cheek and a second holding onto your hand tightly. A high pitched ringing was slowly dissipating from your ears. Faded indistinct voices were becoming clearer, as well as rushed footsteps on what sounded like floorboards. They seemed to move faster when you screamed a second time, this time not only from pain but also confusion.

Slowly lifting one eyelid open, you allowed your eye to adjust to the bright light. The sight before you was blurry and it felt unfamiliar. You began to whimper, not knowing what was happening or what you should do. It was as though you had regressed to a child. A voice was whispering to you as tears trailed from the sides of your eyes.

        “.......    ………  ………”

You couldn't understand what was spoken to you. The pain thundering throughout your body made you sob, which made your chest pound in agony from the action.

        “....... de…. br….. ths……. ___….”

Soft sounds flowed through your ears. You tried to slow your breathing to hear more.

        “Good… Ju….. deep br….. s…”

The pain in your body slightly subsided as you took shaky breaths. Your sight was becoming clearer. A figure was leaning over you; one hand was holding your hand, the other was resting on the side of your face.

    “Deep breaths, ____________, deep breaths.” Their thumb gently stroked a tear from your cheek. “It’s daylight. There’s no need to worry.”

    ‘ _Daylight… Light… I’m..._ ’ A stern face was coming into view. Quivering breaths still shuffled from your mouth, but your breathing was gradually becoming more steady.

        “Levi, you’ll need to move. She probably opened her stitches from all that convulsing. I need to check to make sure.”

_Stitches…?_

        “... She could panic more.”

        “You’ve been awfully sentimental lately.”

        “Shitty four eyes.”

        “You’re lucky I’m the only one who’s seen you like this.”

_Those voices…_

        "Han… j…..” Your voice croaked. “Le…. v…..”

        “Ah! Have you calmed down? You gave us quite a start!” Another figure came into view. They nudged Levi out of the way, making him release his grip on your hand and remove his other from your cheek. You heard the click of a tongue as Levi walked away.

        “You might as well get some rest if you’re going to go pout.”

      “Hmm.” It wasn’t a response, neither in agreement nor denial. You heard a door click and saw the woman sitting next to you turn their attention to your torso.

        “You were thrashing around quite a bit. We had to get the others out of here before anything else happened.” Hanji lifted your covers and placed them at the end of the bed. “You know, so that they couldn’t see you at your  _complete_  worse. I know you hate it when others look at you, especially when you aren’t wearing your face gear.”

You blinked a few more times before your eyesight became normal. The ringing in your ears was nearly gone. Hanji grinned as you stared at her blankly. Wait, did she say you weren’t wearing--

Quickly reaching your face, you patted all along the surface to find that your goggles and bandana were no longer there.

        “You honestly didn’t think that we’d leave that stuff on for a week and a half, did you?”

_A week and a half…?? What--_

        “How much does this hurt?” Hanji pressed her hand to your ribcage, immediately making you cringe from pain. “Hmm, still a bit tender but the bruising has healed a lot more compared to the first couple days. Let’s see if your stitches opened.”

The woman promptly began lifting the bottom of your loose-fitting shirt and revealed your bandaged torso. You were still tender and couldn’t move fast enough to stop her from pressing her hand down again.

        “Looks like they’re fine. It’ll be a bit longer before those slashes heal.” Hanji pulled the shirt back down and moved toward your legs, lifting each about four inches up from the bed. You stifled a sob; your muscles felt tight and constricted, limiting much movement. “Same with your legs. They were severely strained when you were brought in. How many titans did you go through before coming back? Those Garrison soldiers with Levi have been talking about it since then. Were there any aberrants? How did they move? Did you see the two special titans? What about--”

        “HANJI, FOR FUCK’S SAKE,” you croaked. “I’m not up for five minutes and you’re already assaulting me with all this. And stop touching me! You’re just making it wor--” You groaned from the pain building throughout your body, stemming from the exertion of just raising your voice. Taking deep breaths, you noticed Hanji sigh in relief.

        “That’s good.”

        “... What is? That you’re making it  _worse_?”

        “That you’re still yourself.”

You stared at the woman for a moment before closing your eyes and resting your arm over your forehead.

        “I’ve really been out for a week and a half?”

      “We honestly didn’t think you would make it.” Hanji lightly patted your stomach before standing to bring over a wash basin. “Your leg muscles were so strained that the ligaments were on the verge of tearing and recovery seemed nearly impossible. You also had quite a few fractured ribs, your right shoulder was almost dislocated, and you had two gashes on both sides of your chest.”

Your mouth hung open slightly. You were that injured and survived? You really shouldn’t have made it. Hanji placed the basin by the table next to the bed and sat next to you again. She grabbed a clean wash cloth and soaked it in the water. After squeezing out the excess liquid, she gently placed it on your forehead. The coolness of the fabric made you relax more. She then handed you a cup of water, which you graciously took a swig of for your dry throat.

        “I’m guessing the gashes you got were when you were at Wall Rose. Your swords must have slashed you as you fell. Good thing Levi was there to catch you, huh?” The woman grinned at you as you flexed your legs to gauge how much of the pain you could tolerate. Hmm, not much. “According to the Garrison soldiers with him, he had to resuscitate you. Your pulse was close to nonexistent and you weren’t breathing. You must have gone into shock before then.”

Something was bothering you, and it was far from what Hanji was discussing.

        “Hanji, the people…” you grunted as you turned the cup in your hands. “... How many made it?”

Her eyes became blank and her grin was now becoming forced.

      “I’d like to say a lot, but the most we’ve seen here in Trost were from Shiganshina. We’ve no idea how many made it from the other districts in Wall Maria…” Her voiced turned into a low whisper. “Or if they made it  _at all_.”

        “To think that the ‘great wall’ would have a warranty.” You took a deep breath and tried to prop yourself up, despite the pain screaming in your body.

      “Hey! Don’t try to get up!” Hanji pressed her hands to your shoulders trying to place you back down. “You’re not fully healed and you probably won’t be for several weeks!”

You paused for a moment, weighing your options.

        “… That means I can’t be moved to any other location or make any strenuous movements for a while, right?”

     “Of course. We would have moved you to Sina, but all the rocking from the wagon would have created more bruises and made your current injuries worse.” The woman stared at you for a brief moment before realizing your intentions.

        “It would be a shame if it took longer to heal… Wouldn’t it?”

        “...... You’re planning on using this so that the higher ups don’t drag you back, aren’t you?” She looked at you with amusement.

     “If they already know how bad my injuries are, I can just milk it out for as long as I possibly can even after I recover.” You mustered a smirked then, earning a laugh from the scientist.

      “Humanity’s Intelligence strikes again,” she said. “Avoiding the officials like nobody’s business.”

You closed your eyes, taking another deep breath to calm your aching body. This was hardly the time to be making snarky comments. Humanity had a momentous event that would go down in history. The so-called invincible wall was still nothing more than a wall-- a cage meant to keep in the birds that believed they could fly.

Titans had invaded. And the walls had only made its inhabitants easy prey. So much more would come from this, and it wouldn’t be because of those monstrosities.

It would be from humans themselves.

        “Hanji…”

      “Hmm? What is it? OH! I nearly forgot!”

      “Hanji, we need to--”

      “You’ll be pretty surprised when I tell you this!” She seemed to be forcing herself to change the subject.

      “No, Hanji, we need to talk about the repercussions from--”

      “So lately…”

      “Hanji, we--”

        “Even a bit before this…”    

        “HANJI.”

        “Levi has been…”

        “Would you--”

        “Watching you.”

You stopped just as you drew in another breath. The eccentric woman had a look of satisfaction. From what, you could not tell.

       ‘ _Watching me? What does she mean?_ ’ you thought to yourself. ‘ _As in watching me to make sure I don’t kill anyone? So that I follow the orders given to me? So I don’t make a mess after he just cleaned?_ ’

You shook your head. You couldn’t let yourself get distracted. But… That single statement was going to bug you later. Just what did Hanji mean?

        “We… need to make a plan,” you slowly spoke as you wearily stared at the woman. She sighed, appearing as though she had lost to something. “We all know that the land within Wall Rose is not enough to sustain the what’s left of the inhabitants of Wall Maria. There’s going to be a shortage of food, as well as social unrest that could result in more deaths or potentially civil war.”

        “Yeah, all of us met with the higher-ups while you were still unconscious and the Survey Corps was trying to search for more survivors.” You listened intently as she continued. “It’s been mostly over who needs to be protected the most, what will happen to the economy, and how to get rid of… the excess refuges.”

Your eyes widened.

Of course they would only worry about themselves.

Of course they would try to isolate their power.

Of course they were nothing more than  ** _pigs_**.

     “No doubt they’ll use this to strengthen dependency on the government,” You crossed your arms. “There’s going to be even more corruption, which will only drive humanity to destruction faster.”

        “That’s what some of us have thought as well. This means they’ll also try to keep you as close to them as possible.”

        “...... So that they still have a strategist at their disposal.” You knit your eyebrows in disgust.

     “A strategist…” Hanji took the cup from your hands and placed it on the table. She stood and walked over to the door. “... Who knows what’s out there-- firsthand.”

She turned around and met your tired eyes. Both of you knew there were a number of scenarios that could take place in that circumstance. Not knowing what would be in store worried Hanji more than you. Leaning against the doorframe, Hanji gave you a concerned look before grasping the door handle.

        “I’ll let Erwin know that you’ve woken up. We’ll need to make a report for what you saw  _that day_  later. For now, just take it easy.” And with that the door closed softly, leaving you to your thoughts.

      ‘ _Those pigs will most likely try to make themselves more secure at the cost of other’s lives. There will probably be a demand for stricter regulations on the populace to increase taxes or reduce daily activities. All that, just to have more pawns to control. And the one they’ll rely on to implement that is… me._ ’

You signed and rubbed your eyes. You took the cloth Hanji placed on your forehead earlier and gently tossed it onto the bedside table. What bothered you the most was not knowing how far they’d go just to stand higher on the throne. The only option available was to standby and wait until the moment came. Maintain their trust and continue to “comply” with their commands-- as much as you despised them.

        “Can’t do anything but wait, for now…” you murmured to yourself.

You slowly lifted yourself up, resisting as much of the pain as you possibly could. The nausea was overpowering and your head was swaying as you sat up. Taking deep breaths, you lightly touched your toes to the hardwood floor. The feeling was somewhat foreign since you hadn’t walked for a week and a half. As you added some pressure onto one of your feet, you felt a shock of pain shoot up your leg, making you catch your breath.

        “Right… The ligaments almost tore…” you wheezed. “ _Almost_  as painful as a broken leg.”

Trying to move about was the worst decision anyone could make while in your condition, but you were feeling restless and, not to mention, also had the pressing need to urinate. Deciding to make another attempt to stand up, you took a deep breath and pushed up off the bed. Your knees nearly buckled under you and your head was throbbing from the low blood pressure there. Your lower back felt as though someone had beaten you with a shovel and your sides felt like someone was twisting a knife in them. Ragged breathing was the only sound in the room as you tried to slowly regain your posture. Your vision was filled with stars and you nearly blacked out right then and there. Looking to the side, you saw your goggles, bandana, and green cloak were neatly placed on the table. As you reached over, you noticed that they had been well-cleaned from the last time you saw them. After staring at items for a moment, you slipped them on as you normally would. You inhaled and noticed a hint of honeysuckle in the cloth. The scent made you feel relaxed and more at ease. You fastened the clip of the cloak and slipped the hood over your head, smelling more of the light scent as you moved.

        “If they think I’m going to let someone handle my bathroom needs for me…” you groaned as you stumbled to the door. “...  _I’ll lobotomize them with a sharpened pickax._ ”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
 

        “Oh? You aren’t resting yet?”

      “With you barging into places without knocking, who’d be able to?”

Hanji grinned and waltzed right into Levi’s temporary office. The man was busy flipping through paperwork as the researcher plopped down on the edge of the desk. Levi gave an annoyed look before stacking the papers neatly into a pile.

        “Anything new?” Hanji asked as she leaned over.

     “Not really. Just more complaints about what the Survey Corps is going to do, mostly from those in Wall Sina.” He set them aside and stood up. “They’re getting antsy about whether or not ___________ will be returning soon. They’re not even asking about her condition either, despite her saving a large portion of refugees from Wall Maria. Scumbags.”

     “Well, that just means we can keep her here longer! They don’t know how long it takes to recover from serious injuries, especially from ones like hers. We can just use that as an excuse to make sure they don’t just use her and get rid of her at the end.” Levi glared at Hanji then, making her chuckle nervously as she shrugged her shoulders.

     “Be that as it may, they’ll do something stupid if she’s not there to make rational suggestions to them,” Levi said as he glanced out the window. “As far as we’re concerned, __________ is the only one who has any outside influence on the government. Whether she’s in Wall Sina or not, they’ll find some way to make us at fault-- because we’re the  _Survey Corps_.”

        “Blame the ones who use the most taxes, of course.” Hanji sighed in defeat. “What does Erwin think? Has he said anything to you yet?”

        “He’s been running all over the place, so no. He’ll get us when the time comes.”

Levi heard a soft thump outside his office. Hanji didn’t seem to notice and gave him a questioning look. It sounded like it came from the stairway down the hall…

        “Levi? What is it?”

He ignored her and opened the door. Listening intently, he could hear faint breathing. As Levi left the room, Hanji stayed behind and stood awkwardly as she wondered what she should do next. She stared at the stack of papers on Levi’s desk, a mischievous smile creeping onto her face.

The ragged breathing was getting closer as Levi neared the staircase at the end of the hall. He noticed a few doors down from his that one was left ajar as he continued. He could now hear muttered swears and the slow creaking of the wooden steps. As he turned the corner, he saw a hooded person stopped halfway down the stairs gripping the handrail with white knuckles. Levi recognized the sleeping garments on the individual and gave an annoyed sigh.

        “What do you think you’re doing, __________ ?”

      “What does it  **look**  like I’m doing?” you panted behind your bandana.

      “It looks like you’re trying to take a shit on the stairs.”

      “Close, but no cigar.”

Your clothes were becoming slightly damp from your sweat. The effort it took to walk the short distance to the stairs was more than enough to make you nearly blackout. Stars blocked your vision and grasping the railing was the only thing keeping you conscious at that moment. You heard the click of a tongue before watching Levi pass you on the stairs and stop at the landing. He looked up at you and furrowed his brows.

        “You’re still wearing that on your face even now? People will still know it’s you.”

      “If you think I’m trying to hide something like my pride, you’re wrong.” You placed a shaky foot on a step below you and held your breath. The pain seeped through like water on cotton, filling your vision with even more stars. “I need it, just like how you can’t go without your precious cravat. It just feels naked and weird.”

Levi crossed his arms and didn’t say anything.

        “Why are you around lately?” you asked trying to keep yourself conscious as you took another step. You couldn’t think straight at this point. “Just all of a sudden you start hanging around and acting like some kind of guardian or something.”

         “What are you going on about?” Levi noticed your grip on the railing was loosening a bit.

        “And then you go breakin’ into my office and not replacing the lock like a lil’ shit.” Your head was spinning and everything began to tumble out of your mouth with no restraint. Your words were slowly becoming more slurred and your consciousness was on the verge of slipping. “And you bruise my back with your boulder shoulder… Boulder shoulder…? Boulder… boulder… shoulder… Your shoulder hurts.”

     “And that’s the thanks I get for catching your heavy ass from falling? My arm still aches from that.” Levi was getting irritated but had taken a few steps up from the landing.

      “An’ I wake up and you’re touchin’ me like a lil’ shit, an’ I keep seein’ the past but they end differently an’ you end up…” You were breathing heavily. Your palms were so sweaty you lost your grip on the railing and fell forward. Your weak body met the warmth of Levi’s as he caught you with ease. You didn’t even feel the impact. “... An’ you end up… end up… you… were…”

        “And I what? Say it already.” His voice was low but still stern as your head rested against his shoulder. You could smell a slight scent of honeysuckle.

        “You end up…” Tears threatened to fall as a flash of your dream stopped you from continuing, as if telling Levi you saw his bloodied body crumble to dust would make it come true. “... You end up……... Takin’ me to the bathroom.”

        “... What.”

        “......... I need to pee, Levi. Take me to the bathroom.”

There was a moment of silence as your breathing stabilized while still being held awkwardly by Levi from the front. You could feel his strong heart beat through your own chest.

        “I could drop you on your heavy ass right now if I wanted to.”

      “But you won’t.”

      “I will.”

      “I asked you nicely.”

      “You’re full of shit.”

      “That makes two of us.” You managed a weak chuckle, something Levi hadn’t heard in a while. “Now if you don’t wanna smell like piss for the rest of the day,  _please_  take me to the bathroom.”

Levi paused for a moment more before shifting your upper body into one of his arms. He leaned down a bit as he slipped his other arm under your knees and lifted you up with an audible grunt.

        “Hey, none of that. No complaining.” you groaned as you readjusted to the pressure placed on your bruises. Levi suddenly loosened his grip, making it feel as though he was dropping you. You flailed and gripped his jacket with one hand and his shoulder with the other. More pain was shattered throughout your body from the small exertion, making you match Levi’s glare behind your tinted goggles.

     “Hey, none of that. No complaining.” he mocked as he turned and walked down the steps. Your body was lighter than before, no doubt from your lack of nutrition even from before the fall of Wall Maria. This was seriously a hassle for him, and yet he felt some obligation to stay near you.

        “Levi…?” you murmured.

        “What?”

      “… Hanji told me that you--”

      “Do you want me to take you for a piss or not?”

You stayed silent as Levi continued on. That was… unexpected. And abrupt. You guessed he probably already knew what Hanji had told you and was avoiding the subject. You’d just have wait until later. After all, the fall of Wall Maria would need your full attention. You felt ashamed for trying to sort out personal matters at such a time. That could be done at a much later time. But living in this kind of world, there’s no saying whether or not there would be a “later time”. The worst thing that could happen was dying with regrets. You felt you could at least take baby steps for that, starting with…

        “… Thank you, Levi,” you whispered. “For this and more.”

He briefly glanced at you before giving a low hum in response, just loud enough for you to hear. You felt you owed him much more, but this would have to do for now. As Levi carried you down the hallway, the sun melted through the windows and landed on your back, making you feel drowsy from the warmth. Being held in Levi’s arms made you feel… safer. Although you were taller than him, he seemed to have no trouble at all carrying you. The strength of Humanity’s Strongest extended beyond the battlefield, yet very few knew about it. The sound of his boots echoed in the hallway; each step he took mimicked a sensation you once felt long ago. You closed your eyes, giving in to the warmth from both the windows and Levi’s chest. You inhaled the sweet scent of honeysuckle and drifted off to the sound of a strong heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *queue rolling on the floor in cringe-y pain*
> 
> Why am I obsessed with flowers? Because they're fucking beautiful and have deeper meanings that I'm always a slut for.


End file.
